Carer Feelings

If I said how it feels

It would only make things really real

Nothing can be said or done

The changes can’t be overcome.

The leaking sieve

The grains of sand

We can’t hold in his open hand.

I say the same thing once again

And watch my tone with care

Pretend it isn’t on repeat

Enthusiasm share.

Sometimes it’s difficult explaining

Simple tasks

Without complaining

And what went well just yesterday

Is no guarantee of what’s today.

Repetition is no key

Information’s lost so instantly

One thing at once with no exception

When he struggles with his recollection.

Distraction makes things harder

And focus waivers badly

Confusing situations

It always turns out sadly.

Mood can change and so does outlook

Such varies day on day

The positives than horrid falls

The brightness turns to grey.

I can not challenge or debate

The logic isn’t there

So I just go along with it

To show how much I care.

I try to make the feelings good

And hope, that they will stay

Just a little longer

As the memories fade away.

For those who do not know the stealth this illness has

It steals the skills, the hopes, the dreams

The change comes slowly so it seems,

But looking back so much has gone.

We can’t dwell on what used to be

Or what we both thought might be done

But plan to make the best of things

And prepare for what’s to come.

Alzheimer’s isn’t easy

It touches all the family.

The world no longer makes good sense

Everything is hard

Protecting with a great big fence

Constantly on guard.

The balance is so difficult

Independence v carer

Working out the boundaries

Making choices fairer.

Respecting the person

Keeping them safe

Giving freedom

Trust and faith.

Picking up the pieces when it doesn’t quite work out

Giving time and patience

When your instinct is to shout.

Dementia slowly wilts the flower

But keep it blooming on

With love and hope and tender care,

‘Til the final flower is gone.

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